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How our Focus can change our success!

How our Focus can change our success!

 

purple flower growing on crack street, soft focus, blank text

How our Focus can change our success!

 

Problem centric thought is the problem!  What’s that I hear you ask?  Well, when we have an issue in life we often look at it from the point of view of the problem.  It’s not our fault, it’s just the way our brains are wired.  So it’s natural that we focus on mistakes, the past and barriers we put up in the way of success.   We look at what we don’t have rather that what we have and that’s where we fall down.  We are very good at taking the positive stuff for granted then taking the negatives and turning them into a bigger problem.

And when I say it’s not our fault, it’s because it’s the way our brains used to work.  The primitive part of our brain, the Amygdala, is involved in our flight or fight scenario, remember, we discussed that recently?  When it sees a danger it prepares us physically to handle it.  That was great when we lived thousands of years ago when dangers were real dangers.  Look at those wildlife programs on the television.  When a herd of gazelle is under attack from lions they all respond rapidly, running away from the danger.  However, when the danger is gone, they just settle back down to eating grass – everything is back to normal.

While we have evolved over the years, this primitive response unfortunately hasn’t.  We still respond to perceived dangers but we can’t tell the difference between external and internal dangers.  Even worse, we can’t switch off the fight or flight mechanism.  So, we take the current perceived danger or problem and the brain looks to try and solve it, to close the gap between it and what we want. To do this it starts dragging up similar issues from the past to compare and contrast. Suddenly, we are re-living problems from the past.  So, what started as a perceived danger suddenly can turn into a dragging up of the past and a joining together of lots of problems and if you are not careful you can find yourself spiralling downwards.  Drawn into an emotional quicksand.

So, how can we solve this?  Well, I have two answers for you. First, now that I have told you how it all works, the awareness becomes your friend.  You can’t stop the mind delving for past experiences to compare to, triggering unhappy memories, self critical thoughts.  But, you can stop this wave of thoughts from feeding off itself, dragging up more negative thoughts and going on and on.  Stop the run of destructive emotions that will lead to stress and exhaustion.  Being aware is the first step.  But to move on from awareness we need to cultivate mindfulness.  Our thoughts are not our mind, but it can take time to realise this.  Regular meditation, and we will do a blog on that soon, calms the mind and allows you to become better at seeing this and stepping back from it.  It only takes a few minutes a day to start with.  Build from there and it will get easier.

The second suggestion I have for you is about the way we approach problems.  Instead of having a problem centric thought where we focus on the problem, make sure you focus on solutions.  Think about what you have in your life.  What resources do we already have at our disposal.   Make it a game, turn it around.  When you have a problem based thought, challenge yourself within 60 seconds to come up with solution based thoughts.  Imagine a blackboard, with the problems on the left side, now, place the solutions on the right.  What is the one thing you can do differently that will make the problem better?

Coaching and learning to live with yourself and your life is all about learning how to think differently. If you are currently dealing with a problem, take the 60 second challenge.  You’ll be surprised how a little change in focus can solve a big problem.  Go on, I challenge you………

Karl_Wav3
Karl_Wav3